Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack edition. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And then does not even have four quarters to his name.

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Q: What do you call a Polish astronomer? A: Copernicus.

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how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? Not enough

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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So the priest took the 6 year old boy into the confessional...and He told him to say 3 Hail Mary's.

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What happens when the hydro goes out for 1 second? 1 minute? 1 hour? 1 day? 1 month? 1 year? -1.8 people die. 105 people die. 6,306 people die. 151,338 people die. 4,603,198 people die. 55,238,376 people die. Aw shit, then you have to take account for how many people die of starvation :\, and the ones who froze to death, and the ones who died from heat stroke, And the ones who died of Alzheimers.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Q.what is worse than finding a worm in your apple? A.finding two worms.

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What do you call a man running away from the bus? A man

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My friend asks me what my mom does for a living and i told him that she is a nurse. Then he says "That a good job because she is able to save lives". I quickly reply "She works in an abortion clinic".

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why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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I obviusly meant: Have you ever seen a cow chasing boots? Because the one with the cowboy chasing boots doesn't make sense...

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what has wheels and drives? a boat i lied about the wheels

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how do you see the difference between a ceiling and a floor? people dont walk on a ceiling

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A man finds a lamp in the desert. He picks it up and dusts it off. The lamp becomes cleaner.

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Q: What's blue and smells like grass? A: Blue grass.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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Why is the fat kid on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

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How did the Jew survive the Holocaust? Trick question he didn't

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A British man walks into a dentist's office.

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What did the dead man say? Nothing because dead human beings have no beating heart and do not live so they cannot speak.

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Q: What did the doctor say to the man with terminal cancer? A: You have terminal cancer.

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What's white and can't jump? A fridge.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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