What do you get six year old Hitler for his birthday? An Easy Bake Oven

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Guy: Roses are red, violets are blue, you're beautiful and sexy too. Girl: Roses are red violets are blue, how many girls have you told that to? Guy:... Girl: Exactly.

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Why was the baker rich? Because he had a lot of money

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What is a Zebra? Zebras (/?z?br?/ zeb-r? or /?zi?br?/ zee-br?)[1] are several species of African equids (horse family) united by their distinctive black and white stripes. Their stripes come in different patterns, unique to each individual. They are generally social animals that live in small harems to large herds. Unlike their closest relatives, horses and donkeys, zebras have never been truly domesticated.

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What do you call a man covered in bees? Nothing, you'll startle the bees!

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Why did the horse stop runnIng? His master beat him to death.

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

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When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

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What do a Jew and a homeless man both have in common? They both get nothing for Christmas

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Stick figure says to the artist "Can't you make it any bigger?" Artist:"No, I ran out of lead?"

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Why did my toaster break? because it was made in china

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Your mama so fat that when she cut herself gravey came out and we drank it too!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, chickens aren't capable of crossing roads without being involved in a car accident.

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What happened to Timmy went to get ice cream from the ice cream truck? He was raped and never seen again, his family now mourns there loss

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Roses are flowers.

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My friend was in court for stealling smoothies so i told him to plead innocent and received 10 years in a federal prison and a fine of up too £5000 pounds

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid with two stump arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Roses are red violets are blue I have outsimers Wait what?

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i quit soccer because science happened and then i forgot how to screw in a lightbulb

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What do you call a kid with no friends? ....a Sandy Hook survivor

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What's 9+10? 19

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A muslim, a priest, and a raabi walk into a bar. All three of them agree that it hurt.

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic and his problem is destroying his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops