Whats green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a person with no arms or legs rolling around in leaves? I don't know that seems like a highly improbable situation

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How does a Black Guy eat chicken. Like anyother human-being.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A boy orders a sandwich at a restaurant. He then questions the cashier about it. Boy: Excuse me, Why is my sandwich so bad? Cashier: Sorry, none of our women cooks were in today.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's black and white and eats like horse? A zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why is the redneck crying? They died of diabeetus.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats worse than dropping your ice cream cone Your dad having brian cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the black guy say to you when you took his fried chicken Give me back my chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? We can never be truly sure of the chicken's real purpose, but given the circumstances of the surroundings, the story has it that the purpose of the chicken was to physically move to the other side of said road.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's worse than 100 dead babies stapled to a wall? 100 live babies stapled to the wall!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: What do a hockey coach and a bar stool have in common? A: because seven ATE nine

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between a baby and a textbook? You throw a textbook at the wall with TWO hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock-Knock Who's there? A giant spider-like insect that lays eggs in your brain which turn into larvae that drop down onto your tongue and eat your teeth slowly, then form a cocoon and turn into the spider-like insect spoken of previously. You then wake up from this terrible nightmare and get ready for your well paying job.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you hit a clown off a swing? There are many was of acting upon this situation but the most successful approach would be hitting the clown with a heavy object,

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did the dad stop working on the roof he fell off

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did Timmy start a fire? Because Timmy was a derranged phycopath

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I`ve got a car behind me. Don`t worry about that you have aids.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver comes into the bar and gulps down the guys drink and the guy starts crying the lorry driver says "dont cry ill buy you another" thee guy sas "it's not that today i woke up late for work and when i got there i got fired and then when i went to go home feeling depressed my car doesnt startand so i walk home and i find my wife in bed with the gardener and so i came here to die but you drank my poison"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the black man begin to cry when his friend aimed a gun at a watermelon? Because if he were to shoot it would be a waste of perfectly good food.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why cant your mom breathe She chockin on my D**K

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats better than giving birth to a disabled son? A Blowjob

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops