What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

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You just threw a fireman and a baby out of a skyscraper... who arrived earth first? Adam and Eve. Moral: Because theology is bullshit.

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what did micheal jackson give to a young boy? -nothing micheal jackson is dead

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A dog walks into a bar, looks at the bartender, lifts its leg and pisses on a bar stool. What does the bartender do ? He chases the dog out the bar and gets a mop to mop up the piss.

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Why was the gorilla crying? His brother died

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what is worse then stubbing your toe in the dark? -september 11th

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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Why did Jack and Jill go up the hill? To get to their house.

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Where do bananas come from? Mexico

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Q: Why did the man move out of his house? A: He found another, for a better price.

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Why did the girls head explode while eating supper? There was a grenade in her food.

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What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 4 beers. The bartender replies, "One at a time, mate, will that work for you?" To which the man replies, "No", leaves, and drives his 1994 Toyota Corolla off of the road into the pit of a volcano.

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Three nuns accidentally walked in to a bar and so they immediately went out.

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Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

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Knock knock Who's there? Timmy Timmy who? Timmy Smith

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what is long,hard and holds semen,a submarine , i spelled seamen wrong

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Why was the asian boy get straight A's? He paid attention during class, took good notes, studied at home, and had a personal drive that lead him to be a good student.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman immediately calls the local stable to report the missing stallion, and his owner promptly arrives to take him home. He thanks the landlord and offers a small reward, but it is respectfully declined.

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What's worse than stepping on a lego? Being eaten alive by a man-sized spider.

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What jew get for christmas? Your money.

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How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

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How do you kill a blond? You don't. If you do, you'll get reported to the cops and sent to jail.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops