What's worse than stepping on a lego? Being eaten alive by a man-sized spider.

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A mother and father heard their young son sobbing in his room, so they ran upstairs to see what the problem was. When they got to his room, they found the older son was dead and hanging from the ceiling. And the younger son was actually laughing, not crying.

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What looks and sounds just like a seagull ? A seagull.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, penis.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage.

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Q: What did the pope say to the prostitute he passed in the street? A: Bath & Bodyworks are having a sale

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Whats the difference between a circle and a peace sign? Three lines!

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nick toth

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Knock knock! Whos there? Me. Now open the door.

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One day a horse goes to a bakery store and asks the shopkeeper for a fresh loaf of bread. Surprised at the request the shopkeeper asked - White bread or whole wheat? To which the horse replied - Makes no difference cause i rode my bicycle to work yesterday.

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Why didn't andrea clean the dishes? She had no hands

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Duke: Hi Sally: Hello Duke: Nice weather huh? Sally: I couldn't tell ya duke, I'm not a meteorologist.

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Whats the difference between a chicken? One of its legs are both the same.

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why did the puppy have a sticky tongue? because its owner was abusive and made the puppy lick peanut butter from his balls

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A chicken crossed the road and the farmer said, "Where the hell is that chicken going!?"

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How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

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what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot you racist.

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Q.) What did the boy do when he got home? A.) He repeatedly cried due to the large amount of bullying he faced at school. He had constantly tried to contact his parents and teachers for help yet no one would listen. The boy was found dead in his room the next day. Poor kid.

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A negro named Kanye walks into a Tavern... He's stoned to death.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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Geuss what? Bob is wide awake and he likes strawberries but he didn't have any strawberries so he ate a hamburger but fred wanted a hamburger but bob ate it so he just ate bob but bob was wide awake so he saw fred eating him so he called the pigs to come and eat fred because pigs eat anything but the pigs had already eaten their daily freds so they ate bob because they hadn't already eaten their daily bob but fred had already eaten bob so they got angry at fred so they just ate him anyway but then they got fat so a wolf ate them but then some hunters killed the wolf and ate it so they are actually eating a hamburger because the wolf ate the pigs and the pigs ate fred and fred ate bob and bobb ate a hambuger but he actually likes strawberries.

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"I can't wait to eat this bagle!" "Yes you can." "Yeah, I guess you're right."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Whats the difference between and anti joke and a joke? There two different things.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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