My mom told me about a funnel they make for women now that they can use to pee standing up. I told her it was a ploy to promote feminism.

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A mother and father heard their young son sobbing in his room, so they ran upstairs to see what the problem was. When they got to his room, they found the older son was dead and hanging from the ceiling. And the younger son was actually laughing, not crying.

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Q: What comes after 8? A: 9

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, penis.

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What did the Dyslexic man write on his Christmas card? Merry Christmas

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Why is Jem no longer a cartoon? Because they all died from toxic hairspray.

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Why did the man go to jail? He abused and later murdered his spouse.

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What's 8 inches long and makes my girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth? Her miscarriage

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a blind man walks into a bar it hurt.

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Why did the blind man cross the road? To end the suffering of a lifetime illness.

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What's the difference between a bird and a horse? - Both can fly, exept the horse.

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How long does it take a black woman to take a shit? Why in the world would you want to know something like that? But anyway, the answer is somewhere, on average, between 10 seconds and 15 minutes. It really varies and conditions like irritable bowel syndrome and constipation affect this range. Actually it takes about 9 months.

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What happens if someones forgets to put the 'anti' next to 'joke.' It is taken by someone else and created into an anti Joke.

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One day a horse goes to a bakery store and asks the shopkeeper for a fresh loaf of bread. Surprised at the request the shopkeeper asked - White bread or whole wheat? To which the horse replied - Makes no difference cause i rode my bicycle to work yesterday.

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Why did the girls head explode while eating supper? There was a grenade in her food.

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whats the hardest part of roller skating. Telling your dad that you are gay.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Fishsticks

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How do you put on a condom Very Carefully

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Whats is pathetic and just plain sad? Gas prices these days.

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What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

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What happened to the blonde that died her hair brown? Her hair turned brown.

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Q.) What did the boy do when he got home? A.) He repeatedly cried due to the large amount of bullying he faced at school. He had constantly tried to contact his parents and teachers for help yet no one would listen. The boy was found dead in his room the next day. Poor kid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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