How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

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What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

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Q: What did the priest say to the rabbi? A: Our God is a wonderful, loving god; praise his name.

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Knock, knock. The man knocking finds a note taped to the door saying "we'll be back in a week", the man proceeds to walk back home and tell his wife that they weren't home and that he'll return the rake he borrowed from them next week when they're back.

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Q : Why was the little girl crying? A : Because she tripped and hurt her knee.

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what smells like red paint but is blue paint?

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What do you call a retarded man? Mentally challenged.

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your mama is so stupid i believe she will have a difficult time finding employment in these rough economic times

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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Three nuns walk into a bar. They realize they are in a place they don't want to be, so they leave, casting furtive glances around, fearing that someone from their congregation will see them and think they went in to drink.

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What's a bit smaller than the tallest man in the world? The 2nd tallest man in the world.

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What did the man want a car for his birthday? 7.

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Women's Rights

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did you hear the one about the boyscout and his scoutmaster? They had a lovely relationship, and both went on to be role models.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He gets extremely drunk and gets hit by a train.

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How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

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Snapple fact #572: You're a terrible person.

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how many indians does it take to screw in a light bulb? one if it can reach 2 if it's high.One to screw in the bulb the other to hold the ladder.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? A n a l

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Why did the aeroplane engine fallon the house? Because of Donnie Darko

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A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

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Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

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What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink? What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink?

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I've got a boner

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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