What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin boys? Thomas and David after his father and grandfather.

Why did the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a truck

88

What's the best part about having sex with twenty-six year olds? They're of legal age to give consent.

My grandmother always use to tell me "slow and steady wins the race." Well, that was before she died in a house fire.

A man walked into a bar. "Ouch"

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

Why are you asleep? Because I'm tired.

what did one lady say to another lady? we are both ladies

a guy who can fly walks up a hill and jumps off a cliff. his flying power fails him and he dies on impact

A blonde goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "That is a worrying symptom," says the doctor, who immediately recommends the woman for a thorough psychiatric assessment.

What's worse than Hell? The Holocaust.

I Wish... I was Charlie Sheen's Dealer

A kitten walks into a bar and orders a saucer of milk. Everyone enjoys the novelty of his presence.

Guy 1: "Hey, you have some updawg on your face." Guy 2: "Oh, thanks. Did I get it?" Guy 1: "Yeah, I think so."

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? He said, "Where's my tractor?"

A guy and a girl had sex, it was casual.

What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

What's the difference between a rabbit and a plum? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

Why was the old lady hard of hearing? She spent many of her young days blasting hard rock from her speakers/

How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

Q:Ask me my name. A:What is your name? A:Hey why do you need to know that?

What's brown and smells Iike crap? My brother he doesn't shower and is Hispanic

What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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