All I want for Chrismas, the murderer of my parents to be caught.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Did you see that picture of Helen Keller's dad? Yes. She didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

My mom told me about a funnel they make for women now that they can use to pee standing up. I told her it was a ploy to promote feminism.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is marios favorite type of jeans? a brand that he enjoys and feels is comfortable in

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What has two legs and graduated from ninja school? Okyrin Sakajuru. He also went on to win two all city titles and roundhouse kick of the day, performed on a wild tiger. As time passes, he stops practicing and becomes a lethargic street criminal. He is eventually captured by local authorities and charged with the robberies and two counts of aggravated assault. Leaving his children behind to the system where they are neglected and depressed about their fathers situation. He makes bail after 3 months and opens a strip club for dwarfs but loses it all after not finding stripper poles that are dwarf friendly.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A chicken crossed the road and the farmer said, "Where the hell is that chicken going!?"

thumb_up thumb_down -48

How much stuff would a stuff muff huff if a stuff muff could huff stuff? Whole dang lotsa

thumb_up thumb_down -62

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother?

thumb_up thumb_down +157

What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +117

A kitten walks into a bar and orders a saucer of milk. Everyone enjoys the novelty of his presence.

thumb_up thumb_down +79

What has four wheels and can fly? A flying car What else has four wheels and can fly? Another flying car

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Bobby got a new bike there are black kids in bobby's neighborhood bobby doesnt have a new bike anymore

thumb_up thumb_down +61

poop.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

An Asian, Burnett, and a Blond are stranded on an island. They all say, "What the crap?! How'd I get on this island?!"

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What jew get for christmas? Your money.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

i said wut wut in the butt!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what do you call a grown man driving a plane you dont it isnt possible to drive a plane

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did Justin Bieber get for Christmas? An iPod Touch and a few nice sweaters.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is big, green and fuzzy and if it falls out of a tree and hit you in the head, it will probably kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

the world flooded and everybody died how did they die? the all fell into lava!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what did one lady say to another lady? we are both ladies

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a sludge hammer, the other is a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops