Always bring food to the zoo. It's not the animals who placed the signs not to feed them.

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the world flooded and everybody died how did they die? the all fell into lava!

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YO MOMMA SO FAT... that it is really beginning to be an issue.

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Q : Why was the little girl crying? A : Because she tripped and hurt her knee.

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Knock, knock. The man knocking finds a note taped to the door saying "we'll be back in a week", the man proceeds to walk back home and tell his wife that they weren't home and that he'll return the rake he borrowed from them next week when they're back.

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whats worse than finding 30 babies nailed to 30 trees? finding coal in your stocking at christmas.

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what's blue and white and red all over? -nothing the "red all over" part implies a contradiction to blue and white.

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How do you kill a blonde woman? Stab her in the stomach so all the acidic contents of her stomach slowly burn her flesh.

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All I want for Chrismas, the murderer of my parents to be caught.

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What did andy say when he went down on burger nips? Welcome to the jungle

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What do you call two men riding a bicycle.

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Why were the babies used for target practice? Hitler demanded the Nazis to do so.

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What's brown and sticky? a stick.

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Q1:Why was the homeless man homeless? A1:He suffered from a series of mentally disabilitating diseases. From a young age these disabilities went unnoticed and untreated. They evolved to a level in which he believes he is god, therefore he throws fescues at passing automobiles. Q2:Why does the homeless man throw poo at cars? A2:See answer 1

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Punch line.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had no arms.

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Q: A black man is walking down the street with a television, where did he just come from? A: Best Buy, he just got a bonus, and wanted to reward himself.

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How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, but she had a very muscular vagina.

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A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ow, that really hurt."

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4 on three... 1, 2, 3, 4!

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How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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A man decides to go hunting in the woods with a shotgun, he is going through the woods and a bear randomly pops out of no where, knocks him down and rapes him. So the next day he came back with an even bigger shotgun and said, "i am going to kill this bear" so he goes through the woods, the bear comes out of nowhere, knocks him down and rapes him again. So he comes back the next day with and even bigger shotgun and says, " i am going to kill this bear, skin it, and eat it" so hes going through the woods and out comes the bear, knocks him down, gets real close to his face and says, "you dont come out here for the hunting do ya".

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A Jew and a Nazi have dinner together...... they both immensely enjoyed the wine.

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what is the difference between a Ferrari and a bucket of dead babies......... I dont have a Ferrari in my garage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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