Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Gravitational force acted upon the monkey who was not holding on to any branch.

A: Knock Knock. B: ... A: Knock Knock. B: ... A: I guess nobody's home. (leaves.)

how many indians does it take to screw in a light bulb? one if it can reach 2 if it's high.One to screw in the bulb the other to hold the ladder.

YO MOMMA SO FAT... that it is really beginning to be an issue.

What did the adverb say to the noun? Hopefully whale.

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a sludge hammer, the other is a watermelon

How much stuff would a stuff muff huff if a stuff muff could huff stuff? Whole dang lotsa

What did Little Timmy say when his house fell down? I'm not sure but that sounds like a very sad event that I hope to never encounter in my personal experiences.

I like my coffee like i like my woman, Without a penis.

Knock Knock. Martha, get the door I'm watching the game!

What did St. Mary Magdalene tell Pontius Pilate during the crucifixion of Christ? All this chaos is making me CROSS-eyed!

What's the best part about having sex with twenty-six year olds? They're of legal age to give consent.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist.

guess how...chicken pow! guess who...chicken poo! guess when...chicken pen! guess where...chicken hair! guess what...your adopted.

Whats the difference between a circle and a peace sign? Three lines!

What do you call something you should prepare yourself for when having sex with a prostitute? A.I.D.S

If at first you don't succeed.... maybe skydiving isn't for you...

What is big, green and fuzzy and if it falls out of a tree and hit you in the head, it will probably kill you? A pool table.

Whats worse than the holocaust? A n a l

Q: What did the priest say to the rabbi? A: Our God is a wonderful, loving god; praise his name.

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the man fall of his bike? He was struck with a falling koala. Why did the fish fall of its bike? Because it's a fish. What is fuzzy and might kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

Guy 1: "Hey, you have some updawg on your face." Guy 2: "Oh, thanks. Did I get it?" Guy 1: "Yeah, I think so."

What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

What's red, blue, green, yellow, pink, purple, orange, teal, light green, brown, black and white? Colours, except for black and white, for they are the absence and amalgam of all colours, respectively.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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