A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Hey buddy what's up? I justed wanted to know if you wanted to hang out tonight. Just call me and tell me what you wanna do. Ok that's it see ya. Oh yeah! I gave your mom an STD...sorry dude...it just happened. I hope your dad isn't mad. Again, really sorry. Ok bye.

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What came first?....the woman or the sandwich

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What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" The owner of the horse then explains the evolution of the species and genetics. The bartender, satisfied, serves the owner a drink and gladly gives the horse water.

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It's black, and when it falls out of a tree, your refrigurator is broken. Your refrigurator.

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how long does it take for a black woman to shit? a couple of minutes.

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An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They enjoy a few quiet drinks while watching a rugby match between Italy and France on the big screen, which is why they came into this particular bar. The Englishman hopes Italy will win, the Irishman is also supporting Italy while the Scotsman is up for France. France wins the match and the Scotsman says "Good game lads eh?" The others agree.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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why did the puppy have a sticky tongue? because its owner was abusive and made the puppy lick peanut butter from his balls

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Robin, get in the Bat-mobile!

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A horse walks into a bar. The owner immediately seeks out the owner of the misplaced obstruction and asks them to remove it promptly less his animal suffers any more untoward damage

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Q.) What did the boy do when he got home? A.) He repeatedly cried due to the large amount of bullying he faced at school. He had constantly tried to contact his parents and teachers for help yet no one would listen. The boy was found dead in his room the next day. Poor kid.

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Why wouldn't the girl clean her room? She was paralyzed.

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Cole is "good" at soccer

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Whats the difference between a circle and a peace sign? Three lines!

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Q. What's silver and cries? A. Someone who's been stabbed while wearing a suit of armour.

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japan4.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Gravitational force acted upon the monkey who was not holding on to any branch.

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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? Lean a ladder against the tree and reassure them if they are apprehensive.

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Why did the black guy punch the Mexican guy? Because they were in a fight.

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A guy walks into a bar. Ouch

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Whats the difference between a chicken? One of its legs are both the same.

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What did the tractor say to the cow? I'm a tractor, you're a cow, go figure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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