How many perverts does it take to screw a lightbulb?

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why were the babies used for target practice? Hitler demanded the Nazis to do so.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the homosexual eat for breakfast? A light meal consisting of fruit and whole grains, so he could keep his weight down.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats red and cant fly a plane. An apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man decides to go hunting in the woods with a shotgun, he is going through the woods and a bear randomly pops out of no where, knocks him down and rapes him. So the next day he came back with an even bigger shotgun and said, "i am going to kill this bear" so he goes through the woods, the bear comes out of nowhere, knocks him down and rapes him again. So he comes back the next day with and even bigger shotgun and says, " i am going to kill this bear, skin it, and eat it" so hes going through the woods and out comes the bear, knocks him down, gets real close to his face and says, "you dont come out here for the hunting do ya".

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call something that comes out of a llama's butt? poop

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they're already smart enough to achieve interplanetary space travel.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the black guy punch the Mexican guy? Because they were in a fight.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you make a man sad? By drowning him in a Bede.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the tractor say to the cow? I'm a tractor, you're a cow, go figure.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How did the soccer team win? They scored the most goals.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Hey buddy what's up? I justed wanted to know if you wanted to hang out tonight. Just call me and tell me what you wanna do. Ok that's it see ya. Oh yeah! I gave your mom an STD...sorry dude...it just happened. I hope your dad isn't mad. Again, really sorry. Ok bye.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what does a blue watermelon and a cactus that looks like a penis have in common? orange ya glad i didn't say banana!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did one muffin in the oven say to the other muffin Nothing food doesn't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he lives in a chicken coop and has never even seen a road.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

what did one lady say to another lady? we are both ladies

thumb_up thumb_down -38

There are two muffins in the oven. One muffin says to the other "phew it's kinda hot in here" the other muffin says "AWW a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Eating chicken off a baby's ass

thumb_up thumb_down -66

a muslim walks into a bar, he then remembers his religion forbids the drinking of alcohol and walks back out

thumb_up thumb_down -104

What happened to the prisoner who dropped the soap while in the shower with other men? Another prisoner picked up and gave it to him and finished showering and felt squeaky clean.

thumb_up thumb_down +113

Limericks are fun, I have an orange Nothing rhymes with orange crap orange

thumb_up thumb_down +71

How do you kill a blonde woman? Stab her in the stomach so all the acidic contents of her stomach slowly burn her flesh.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops