Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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What?

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Invisible Television.

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What do you call two men riding a bicycle.

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what did the lonely boy get for christmas? the absence of a familly

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Do you know what would happen if you were to like this Anti-Joke? ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... I would get another like.

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How did the black guy cross the street? He jumped it.

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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What's the difference between shoes and a ginger? Shoes do the kicking.

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An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

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who wins a race a white guy or a black guy? depends who's faster

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What did Jack give Jill for Christmas? Herpes.

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Hey buddy what's up? I justed wanted to know if you wanted to hang out tonight. Just call me and tell me what you wanna do. Ok that's it see ya. Oh yeah! I gave your mom an STD...sorry dude...it just happened. I hope your dad isn't mad. Again, really sorry. Ok bye.

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RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! 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Eating chicken off a baby's ass

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Yo mama's so fat that I make Yo Mama jokes about her!!

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What do you get when you cross and elephant and a dog? Nothing, because you cannot breed creatures of different geniuses.

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Why were the babies used for target practice? Hitler demanded the Nazis to do so.

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What do you call ten black men running down the street? A race.

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Why is Jem no longer a cartoon? Because they all died from toxic hairspray.

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4 on three... 1, 2, 3, 4!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, get in my bed so i can fu** you!

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What did the chicken say to the rhino? Nothing. Animals can't talk.

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pubic lice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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