Roses are red Violets are blue This doesn't make sense Your cute

i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

What did the nurse say to the doctor? Boo-hoo, i was pranked over the phone, i'm gonna kill myself now.

What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

A kitten walks into a bar and orders a saucer of milk. Everyone enjoys the novelty of his presence.

Have you heard of Helen Keller's dog? No. Neither has she

What was the biggest turning point during Michael Vick's transformation from despised felon to MVP candidate? He stopped killing dogs.

What's the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? A Jew is a person either born into or converted to Judaism, and a Pizza is a disc shaped, oven baked bread typically topped with tomato sauce and cheese.

Three nuns walk into a bar. They realize they are in a place they don't want to be, so they leave, casting furtive glances around, fearing that someone from their congregation will see them and think they went in to drink.

What do you call a man with three testicles? Polyorchid. Look it up.

did you hear the one about the boyscout and his scoutmaster? They had a lovely relationship, and both went on to be role models.

Whats red and cant fly a plane. An apple.

hey, can you answer a question for me? yeah, sure. ThankYou!

What's worse than stepping on a lego? Being eaten alive by a man-sized spider.

Whats pink and looked like an angry bulldog? Your moms vagina last night

Do you know the joke about the two guys who went to Paris ? Me neither.

What's black and white and red all over? And old fashioned television painted red.

Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they're already smart enough to achieve interplanetary space travel.

Your d*ck is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

Wanna hear a joke? Sure. Too bad I don't have one.

Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

What did the penguins get for Christmas? A hang-glider What did the polar bears get for Christmas? Death, The Holocaust, Global Warming, and all of Steven King's books.

Your momma's so ugly that she was worried that she would never marry anyone.

You know whats funny? Things that aren't listed here.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...