Q: Why didn't Jane cross the road? A: Because Jane is a figment of my imagination and therefore has neither the physical capability to cross this so called "road" nor the initiatory motivation to do so...

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Two muffins are in an oven one of them says "wow it's hot in here" The other muffin says "Ah a talking muffin"

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Friends are like potatoes, when you eat them, they die.

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I began as a dreamer, then I became a visionary, then I saw my dream come true, until it shattered us all. Do you believe that perhaps, there are people out there, trying to stop the world from reaching a better age?

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whats worse than having no life? having no life and reading internet jokes all day!

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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What do you call a man with a knife in his back? An ambulance

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pickles.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A mormon walks into a bar.

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What's 6 + 9? 15.

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An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Mexican and an American are on a plane. It crashes due to an oversight concerning its weight limit, killing all of its passengers.

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Jesus, a frog, and Faith Hill walk into a bar. The frog says, "What is this, a joke?"

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When life gives you gators, make Gatorade.

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Why did the black man get kicked out of his hotel room? He did't pay and was in debt so they couldn't allow him to stay.

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Q: Why did Hitler Kill himself? A: Because his wife couldn't match the pleasure of his massive Nazi Orgies

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Roses are red Violets are violet Why does it go like that anyways? ~Yasmin~

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What did the penguin say to the fisherman? Nothing, they are different animals, and thus, unable to communicate.

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Why did my toaster break? because it was made in china

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Why the boy doesn't get any birthday presents? he has cancer.

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What happens if you go one louder? Nothing because you can't

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He had no arms

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Why did the boy with one arm have no friends? He was a cereal killer from Ireland.

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What did little ben get for christmas? A dead grandma

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops