Where was little suzie the day after the house fire? At the hospital, being treated for minor burns.

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Your mom is so stupid she has trouble holding a steady job and struggles to support her family.

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Bitch please, you're adopted as well.

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Knock knock I don't play games, go away! Knock knock How did you get in my house? Knock knock Stay back I have a weapon! Knock knock What are you!!! Knock knock Oh god, someone please help! Knock knock What do you want, I can give you money. Knock knock Just don't hurt my family, please. Knock knock!!! WHO'S THERE!!! I am.

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Feeling that your friends do not listen to your insightful conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say "Uhuh", and "Ahah", and "Dats coo!" NOW YOU CAN BE COMPLETELY APRECIATED BY A FUCKING BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING... ...BUT IS IT... APPRECIATING IT? DUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! MYSTERY!

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? The light was green.

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Why couldn't the immigrant who was brand new to America hold a conversation with anyone? He was mute.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Half of a dalmatian.

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YOUR MOTHER IS SO FAT that she sought a relevant support group. My understanding is that she tried Overeater's Anonymous and lost a few pounds, but it meant more that it improved her sense of self-worth. She's more comfortable with herself as a somewhat overweight woman, and a much happier person now. We're all very proud of her.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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What the last thing that went through Osama's mind? A bullet

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what do you call a man with no arms no legs cancer and down syndrome? you call him stephen because his name is stephen

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Why was Timmy sad? He had 15 large cuban men slapping him for 27 hours straight.

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Why did the pied piper eat tea half past three? Because the chicken tripped on the way across the street and the fat lady didn't sing.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? they can SHOOT, STEAL and RUN.

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What did the little boy get from his visit to Penn State? Raped.

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Brad Fuller!

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A man walks into a bakery and buys a doughnut. He then starts to drive home when he realised that he'd forgoten to eat the doughtnut and has to returne to do so.

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Why did the murder walk up to the lady in the car? It was his mom.

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What's worse than getting raped then killed? Getting killed then raped.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. A family is tied-up and screaming for help in my basement.

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Because they practice.

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Roses are Black, Violets are Black, I am Ray Charles

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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