Your momma's so fat that she is at risk for heart disease and diabetes.

What worse than rain Osama Bin Laden

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

Why did the girl get robbed? Because her door was unlocked.

How do you annoy Lady Gaga? Stab her with a knife.

What did the black man say about Linkin Park? That there's obviously a rapist in their midst and they should all be questioned.

What did the three sixteen year old boys do to the homeless man late at night? Wished him a happy birthday and gave him a meal

Doris was putting up Christmas lights when he noticed the bulb's suddenly came on. He was puzzled at first, as he hadn't plugged them in. He climbed down the ladder and found that it was his son, Robby who had plugged the lights in.

every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute goes by.

What's the difference between a fat man and a little boy? Despite the fact that they were dropped on two different cities, one was made out of uranium, the other was made out of plutonium.

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. Question is, how did they get in there?

why didn't the chicken cross the road? there are no roads in factory farms.

You have now entered Automatic Breathing Mode

What did the man do when he dropped his bar of soap. He picked it up

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She was a donut.

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

What do you call a gay dog? Steve

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? Physical abuse.

What do you call a fish that isn't moving? Dead.

Why couldn't Jimmy breathe? He had a knife in his throat!

Whats worse then the quote "Do it, hit her!" The quote "Do it, Hitler!"

What's the capital of Ohio? O

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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