They see me trollin' They hatin'...

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Why was the little girl sad? She had a grown man sexually assault her.

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A blond walks into an electronics store. Then she promptly walks out, as she got the wrong store.

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Yo mama so fat , when she went to the doctors office and stepped on the scale they said please, your weight, not your phone number .

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Whats the diffetance between a river and a waterfall? One is vertical!??

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A rooster is sitting on the top of a house. It lays an egg. Which way does it roll? This can be solved by using the dimensions and angles of the roof to find the most probable direction it would roll (Incorporating in the power of gravity of course). Of course if the egg from the roosters uteris came out in an akward or unlikely way, it could roll the other way.This can be factored in very quickly because with the video evidence of the rooster having the egg you can see how it was delivered(the video is not of which way it rolls, just of the delivery).

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Dave and Tim walk into a bar. The bartender says to Dave: "What'll it be?" Dave is black.

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What did the little boy with diabetes get for Christmas? A shot of insulin; just like every other day.

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Did you fall on your head when you were a baby Oh, I very sorry.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What did the woman say just before she was stabbed eleven times in the chest thus killing her? Nothing, she had been gagged.

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What's the difference between a bird and a wheel? They both fly, I lied about the wheel.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall again? Because somebody put her back on. Why wasn't she able to hug her dad? Because she has no dad.

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Why did the Muslim kill a gay guy? Because the gay guy was threatening his family with a gun.

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What's round and bounces A basketball No!!!!!!! You dummy!!! Then what? Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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why did the chicken cross the road? becasue he wanted to. also he didnt want to be involved in the holocost

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Why didn't the boy eat his food? because he wasn't hungry.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He had no distinguishing characteristics whatsoever.

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What's difficult and tedious to do? Trying to find a joke with 0 thumbs up/down -Sykes

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How can you tell if a man is choking? Stick a fridge down his throat

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Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Because she fell out the window and landed in soot.

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Q: What did the Black man say to the kool ade Man? A: You're not real -BonkersLive

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When life gives you lemons.... Don't eat them, because you're probable hallucinating, and you don't know where they came from.

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Why did Michael dye. Because he was dyslexic and a plain fell on his noggin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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