If life gives you lemons, squeeze it in life' s eyes.

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Why do girls not have penises? Because there girls

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Why couldn't the towel talk? Because it didn't have a language.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have outsimers Wait what?

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How did the blond become a pilot? By attending flight school, graduating, applying to an airline to which she subsequently was hired to, taking frequent training courses, and beginning work.

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TWATFROST HOLOCOSTME sOME MONEY TO GET A BOOB JOB HAHAHAHA BALOWJOB

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A black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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whats bloop with an m? matthew

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Why does Charlie Sheen do cocaine? Because his father was a poor role model and he's an unstable celebrity.

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How did Elmo get his show? Because the kids loved his furry ass and hoped to be on with dorthy

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How do you make your grandma fly? Push her off the back of a plane.

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what happend when the little boy went on the rollercoaster ? It crashed.

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a man walks into a house. he gets shot in the leg and is brought to jail because he was a burglar and was trying to steal the family's tv.

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Yo momma's so fat that she's gotta get a special door that will allow her to get through.

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What do you call a deer with no eye? NO IDEAR!

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"Why did Jim Jones put cyanide in the People's Temple Flavor Aid?" Because he understood that adding sugar would be bad for their teeth.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!!!! lolooloL!OL!olO!LO!Lo!l!LO!L!O11P!lOL!oO!l

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Why didn't the boy blow out his birthday cake this year? He died last year.

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Whats funnier than Steven Yuhasz being Straight? Womens Rights.

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Why didnt jerry trip over a slug? Because jerry is an arabian and the atmosphere in arabi is to hot for a slug.

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I want to make a lamp shade out of your skin, because you light up my life.

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s o m a a d i t u n y s n i t a c s d c ' s k h k s t o e l y e

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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what did hulk say when he was mad? im mad

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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