Lets just say that we are beyond the stage where I am "just" trying, by the way, you might want to search that last comment for double negatives. Or you know NOT NOT. Do not take my word for it, but if I am not wrong, the bacteria (yogurt) leaves afterwards, so you are eating milk that has been eaten and then.. You know... A common "side effect" of hypnosis, is that when it is used, the one hypnotized (both in this case) end up feeling a "strange" case of closeness, stronger bonds, friendship etc, scientists wonder why... ITS LIKE DUH! WE BOTH REVEAL DEEP SECRETS TO EACH OTHER! THINGS WE DO NOT EVEN USUALLY TELL OURSELVES! Its a literal no brainer, scientits can go fuck themselves, because as far as I know, thats the only fuck they ever get.

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why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? he got hit by a bus why was the little girl happy? because she found an icecream cone

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Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

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What did david give back? Nothing.

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How do you know if your friend is dead? You shoot him in the face!

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A mormon walked into a bar and realised it was a bar the he leaves

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly my dick down your throat.

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How many Jews does it take to fill a shower? As many as it does to fill an ash tray.

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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Where does the Queen of England live? England.

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What do you call a Mexican? Whatever his name is you racist.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Tourette's, PENIS.

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why did michele jackson rape a kid. because he was horny duhhhh!

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was very hungrey and saw some seed on the other side.

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A plane crashes in the wilderness on the border of Canada and the U.S. Where do they bury the survivors? I lied. There were none.

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I have Alzheimer's, i pee out gold, racoons

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Women's rights

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What do cats eat for breakfast? Cat food.

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what do you call a man with blue eyes??? a man with blue eyes

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Skinny guy: Hey wanna hear a yo mama joke? Fat mother: Hey you wanna die?

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What's the difference between a chicken and a bartender? A chicken is a domesticated fowl, a subspecies of the red junglefowl. As one of the most common and widespread domestic animals, with a population of more than 24 billion in 2003, there are more chickens in the world than any other species of bird. Humans keep chickens primarily as a source of food, consuming both their meat and their eggs. A bartender is a person who mixes and serves alcoholic drinks at a bar. also bar-tender ; 1836, American English,

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question: do zombies eat brains answer: actually zombies don't exist, so they don't eat anything

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Q: Why did the little boy who just got over a terrible sore throat fall down the stairs? A: His legs were brutally torn off by wolves.

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If Johnny has 5 apples and Susie has 7 apples, will they give them to the homeless?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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