Justin Bieber

Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profits evenly.

What did Britney Spears say when she got to Paris? "Oh my God, we're in France!"

a man walks in to a bar he says "what can i get for a free beer" the bartender says "okay but first you have to make my donkey laugh" so he goes in there and makes it laugh and gets a free beer ant then the next day he goes in and says "what can i get for a free beer" the bartender says "okay but first you have to make my donkey cry" so he goes in there and makes the horse cry and the bartender says " i will give you a free beer but first tell me what you did to make my donkey laugh and cry" the man says " first to make the donkey laugh i told the donkey i had a bigger penis than him then to make him cry i showed him

One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

Why did the little girl die Because she was kidnapped by a rapist, and defiled repeatedly, and then to get a ransom from her family the kidnapper slowly pulled out her fingernails and toenails, and sent them to the family the same thing happened with her fingers, toes, hands, feet, arms, legs, teeth, tounge, hair, and eyes, then she died of blood loss after nearly 2 months of torture.

What did the orphan get for christmas? Glaucoma.

When life hands you lemons... do not squeeze them, for juice may squirt into your eye, causing severe pain.

What do you do when life gives you Oranges? You make lemonade and life wonders how you did it

Onions are like loved ones... They are both nouns. And you cry when you cut into them.

What was Tyler's last name? Grzesik.

why did the chicken cross the road? who cares?

What's worse than the holocaust? anti-joke

What number is funnier than 23? 24.

What is the coefficient of friction's favourite band? MU-se. What does the coefficient of friction go to see at weekends? MU-seums. What is the coefficient of friction's favourite hobby? Masturbating violently with a noose around his neck.

Why did the kid fall off his swing? Because his mum threw a fridge at him.

Why did the pervert cross the road? His dick was stuck in the chicken

What looks like a black book but is actually white? I don't know because it can't look like a black book if it's white.

There was Jew, a black guy, an Asian guy, and a Mexican guy at the store. The store was called Walmart.

knock knock whose there the hospital staff your mom just died of AIDS

why did the kid drop his sandwich? his hand was cut off

Roses are blue Violets are red What happened to the gay man? He listened to Justin Beiber And then was straight

we all know sammi has a penis

What did the cop say to the black man being arrested? His Miranda rights.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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