What's worse than getting a divorce? Nuclear warfare

Why can't Hellen Keller play hide and go seek? Because she is dead.

Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

What did Anne Frank do this weekend? Nothing. she died in the holocaust.

So, two people park their car and walk into a bar. Wait, no. They were walking into a grocery store and they were riding skateboards, not a car. Then, the kid walks in after them. Oh, did I forget to mention they had children? And also, they're married. So anyway, they walk into this grocery store, and meet a barkeep. Wait no that's ridiculous why would a barkeep be in a grocery store. Let me start over. Bah.. never mind. I forgot what happened next, but it was REALLY FUNNY!

There was an apartment. At the bottom level lived a white family, The 2nd level, there was a mexican family, and the 3rd level, there was a Black family. Someone blew up the apartment with a bomb, WHO SURVIVED? The white family, because the parent were at work and the kids were at school.

Why did the baby cross the road? 'cause i kicked it.

Why did the baby die? Cuz the father had a small dick.

whats worse then having sex with a blonde? having sex with a cactus

A woman leaves the kitchen.

roses are red violets are blue i have shit in my mouth so screw you

Are you from Tennessee? Because you accent is really not hiding it

I have this friend named Rachel, so I call her Rachel.

You know what's really long? The bread lines in Africa

Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? Well, he's dead.

Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

Onions are like loved ones... They are both nouns. And you cry when you cut into them.

What was Tyler's last name? Grzesik.

What's worse than the holocaust? anti-joke

why did the chicken cross the road? who cares?

What number is funnier than 23? 24.

What is the coefficient of friction's favourite band? MU-se. What does the coefficient of friction go to see at weekends? MU-seums. What is the coefficient of friction's favourite hobby? Masturbating violently with a noose around his neck.

When life hands you lemons... do not squeeze them, for juice may squirt into your eye, causing severe pain.

What did the orphan get for christmas? Glaucoma.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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