a man walks into a bar.... his? drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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A man walks in to a bar and orders a drink. He has been drinking alone every day since his wife an unborn child died in an horrific car accident.

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So this beautiful woman goes to see her doctor and says "Doctor i think i have a fever." the doctor replies "I think I've got just what you need. open your mouth." The woman opened her mouth and the doctor gave her some Advil "This should help your fever. that will be $300." in shock the woman said "these prices are to high."

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What's the difference between Elisabeth Fritzl and Pope John Paul II? Pope John Paul II wasn't imprisoned and raped continuously over a 24 year period in a horrific act of cruelty by his father

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Yo mama so fat, that she feels uncomfortable in a bathing suit.

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The time and place do not matter because I'm a lesbian.

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Joker: say knock knock. Person: knock knock Joker: Who's there?

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John Travolta goes to the supermarket..

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What happens when you walk around with a kick me sign on your back? you get punched in the face. How are you supposed to know it says kick, you cant see your own back.

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What did the ocean say to the other ocean? - nothing oceans are inanimate objects that are incapable of talking.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had Down-Syndrome.

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What is orange and sounds like a parrot? A Carrot.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? -Because it was dead Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? -Because it was stapled to the first koala

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How do you kill a fish? You bite off its head.

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Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One holds groceries and the other molests little children.

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a mother cow walks up to her three child cows. the first cow asks: "mom, why am i named rose?" the mother responds with: "because when you were a baby, a rose petal fell on your head." the second cow asks: "what about me, mom?" the mother says: "when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." the third cow says: "AAAAOOOOOOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAO!" the mother screams: "SHUT UP REFRIDGERATOR."

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Why was the kid mad? Because he died.

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Whats 89 x 67? Sponge. Whats 10 + 9? 19 Whats 9 + 10? 21!

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What's brown and sticky? A Stick!

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If three men were rowing a rowboat backwards across your front lawn, and six of the four back wheels fell off, how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? 17 because footballs don't have feathers.

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Two ducks are in a bathtub. One duck says, "Hey, pass me the soap." The other duck says, "What do I look like, a type writer?"

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Q-What do you call a woman in the kitchen? A- A woman making me a damn sammich thats what.

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what happens when an Indian walks into a bar? they realize they found there way home

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Why did peter shake the baby? To kill it and rape its dead corpse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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