Roses are red, I'm tired... I think I'll lie down now

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What do you call a snooker cue that only hits stripes? Anything you want, it can't hear you.

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Why did the Asian guy's condom slip? Because the condom was put on the opposite way.

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Why was the man thought to be peculiar? Because he had sex with a pistachio.

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roses are red carnations are white dont go to bed or ill f**k your friend dwite

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what's the difference between a chicken and a grape? They're both purple........ except for the chicken

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Why wasn't the man able to see his son? He got run over by a train. Knock knock Who's there? The man. He was kidding about being run over.

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roses are red violets are blue your sister is pretty what happend to u??

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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A blonde walks into a drycleaning store 2 pick up her clothes and as she walks out the empoyee says cum again and the blonde says shut up it was toothpast this time!!!!

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs is both the same.

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Your mom is so fat, that she has unsightly stretch marks.

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what did the special ed kid get on his iq test? drool

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? Because it is the decaying remains of a corpse and therefore lacks brain and muscle tissue depriving it of the ability of though and movement both of which are key skills in the art of dancing.

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Hey could I ask you a question? Yes Thanks

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What is green and had wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.....

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What do fish and shoe laces have in common? nothing.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar and the bar says "ouch!"

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it smells like up dog in here. whats that?

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? No reply cause Kyle got knocked out by the door.

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Howdid we get copper piping we put a Pennie between two Jules

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In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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one day there was an ugly barnicle. he was SSSOOO ugly that everyone died the end -patrick

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Roses are red, Violets are green, get in my bed, if you know what I mean.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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