An airplane has 100 bricks on-board. If you drop one brick, how many bricks would be left? 99 -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put a giraffe inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, put the giraffe inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put an elephant inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put the elephant inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- The Lion King gathered all the animals from the land to a meeting. Everyone came, except one. Who was the animal? The elephant. He's still inside the refrigerator. ------------------------------------------------------------------- You want to cross a river, but you know that there are crocodiles there. There is no bridge, vines to swing from, etc. How do you cross the river? Swim across the river. The crocodiles are at the meeting with The Lion King. ------------------------------------------------------------------- So you swimmed over the river, but how did you still die? You were hit by the brick falling from the airplane.

What's the difference between a red ball and a blue ball? There both blue but the red one

What's funnier than seeing a baby falling from the empire state building? Stopping his speed with a shovel

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

Did you know Helen Keller had a playhouse in her backyard? Well if you didn't, it was quite nice. I was her neighbor.

Roses are blue, Violets are red, Wait, what? huh

Roses are Dead, Voilets are, too Now shut up and say nothing Because we're watching you

Knock, knock. Who's there? You. You who? You should be drug out into the street and shot. Whoever you are, I will find you.

What's the difference between a horse and a gorilla? Their penis size. Horses have relatively large penises, while gorillas are known to have the smallest penises proportional to their body size.

Why isn't eating an Olympic sport? Because that wouldn't make any sense.

Can everyone please stop posting shit about my girlfriend because it seriously isnt cool.

What did the cop say to the people watching the house fire? All right nothing to see here jokes over

Why did the lebanese man kill his own family? He had cancer.

whats a porn stars favorite number? 69...

What's the difference between a plum and an elephant? They're both purple but the elephant is gray.

Henry VIII: I need another wife!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thomas Wolsey: All right then. How about my nan? Henry VII: I'm dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :~D

Brown Bear, Brown Bear what do you see? I see some poachers looking at that tiger over there.

Fucked thinking zero out of sub level -1 I hate Black Mexican Jews Born in China! But that does not make me a racist! I insist I am not a racist, there exists only two of them and they are both assholes... ...Or is that racist? :S NeroMetal: The ONLY Moralman aka the most pointless man in history not the "leader of Neronist whatever fuck I raped and killed that Faqq0t murderer, no fucking "Church Of Nero" There is no code embedded here... ...Or is that racist?:S

why did the window washer lose his job. because he fell off and died.

What's the difference between Michael J. Fox and a blender? Michael J. Fox is a successful actor starring in many movies, and a blender is a kitchen appliance.

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? I lost my tractor!

What do a purple grape and an elephant have in common? They are both purple, except for the elephant.

What do Grant and Lee have in common? They're both black males

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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