If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Depends. Some are vegetarians or vegans, while most eat a mixture of vegetables and meat.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

which one is easiest

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what has two eyes and a face? the 5 year old who got raped on his way back home last night.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A sad-looking man entered a bar. The barman asked, "why so sad?" The man replied, "I have a terminal illness."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

One day an Indian boy asked his father why they have such long names? The dad answered him in a such a simple and concise way, that the little boy understood.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: Why did Frank have a big horse named Bubba? A: He was allergic to cats

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the cow say moo? Because all cows say moo

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall All the king's horses and all the king's men, went and made an omelette.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

text your mom saying you need help, then turn on vibrate and shove the phone up your ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Can you say the word "toy boat" 10 times fast? No

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why a blonde woman eat vegetables? Because she is a vegetarian.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

i have read and agree to the terms of service

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you kill a blonde? Throw a fridge at her

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock, knock. Who's there? I am.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you confuse Hellen Keller? Put her in a circular room and tell her to find the corner.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the orphan get for christmas? Glaucoma.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? A: A bus stop

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Adam Chebali goes to war and is quickly killed. The rest of the world rejoices as he can no longer post anti-jokes only he thinks are funny and brag about himself on anti-joke.com.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Nickelback

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Help iv fallen and i can get up -blarg

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops