What has eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs face.

Why was the boy late for dinner? He got in the van.

What did the skeleton say when he was horny? Nothing. Skeletons are not living and therefore cannot be horny.

Why did Daphie die? I stabbed her 487 times.

Why did the lightbulb cross the road? It must have had an external force acting upon it. Lightbulbs are inanimate objects and cannot make decisions or move voluntarily. Someone must have thrown it. It broke. Someone should clean it up.

My grandpa asked me a very important question right before he kicked the bucket. Grandpa: Son, how far do you think I could kick this bucket?

What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled.

what did the super popular, beautiful girl say to her stalker? i dont know, i wasnt the stalker.

Knock knock! Who's there? Luke. Luke who? Leukemia.

Q) What's worse than getting a parking ticket? A) The Black Death

Yes or No? You're wrong because it was both.

A couple was arguing about how the man was cheating and he was in "The Doghouse". There clever son pointed out that they didn't own a dog.

Why did the virgin jerk until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

What happened when the man got into the taxi? The driver shot him 17 times in the chest and ran away

Why was the man sad? He was molested as a child.

How long can penguins hold their breath underwater? Long enough for you to eat a baby and then cover for it.

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What did my Grandmother get for Christmas? Alzheimer's.

What do you call a remote that does not work? a remote that does not work.

What do you call a man who has been run over by a car? An Ambulance

Why was the little boy crying He had a frog stapled to his head

Domonic is a gay homo!!!!!!!!!!!! Vagina

A YouTube brawl began between two gentlemen in the comment section. They agreed to a final answer and moved on.

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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