A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly shits on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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A plane is falling out of the sky, and there is a Priest, a little boy, Obama and a rock star. There are 4 parachutes and everyone jumps out safety.

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A couple was arguing about how the man was cheating and he was in "The Doghouse". There clever son pointed out that they didn't own a dog.

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Q) What's worse than getting a parking ticket? A) The Black Death

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what did the super popular, beautiful girl say to her stalker? i dont know, i wasnt the stalker.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Luke. Luke who? Leukemia.

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Yes or No? You're wrong because it was both.

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My grandpa asked me a very important question right before he kicked the bucket. Grandpa: Son, how far do you think I could kick this bucket?

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Why was the man sad? He was molested as a child.

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What did my Grandmother get for Christmas? Alzheimer's.

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Why did the virgin jerk until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

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What happened when the man got into the taxi? The driver shot him 17 times in the chest and ran away

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Why did Daphie die? I stabbed her 487 times.

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Why couldn't Sally ride a bike? She was disabled

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Why was the boy late for dinner? He got in the van.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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What did the skeleton say when he was horny? Nothing. Skeletons are not living and therefore cannot be horny.

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The indistinguishable bug corrupts a bond arrow.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? The light was green.

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A clown a hockey player and a...........what the heck that's all I got.

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How are people and jelly beans similar? No one likes the black ones

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Turnabout: American study of the Japanese Stereotype man: Murican: Excuse me Mr Japanese. Jap: The answer is within the heart of battle.. Murican: Yes but I just want to ask you some few questions. Jap: You are disturbing my feng shui I must power of the mystical fireball of surge fist energy get... *uppercuts waterfall BECAUSE REASONS!* Murican: What? But this is a serious study! Jap: Sowwy I do nothe speeky the shamefull language of the engrish! Murican: But you just said... Sigh... Conclusion: Carpet bombing of Japan funding increased. "slap a Jap" commercial project from world war two reinstated for the safety of the American people. Experiment two: The study of a American man raised in Japan. Murican: Hello I wonder if... American raised in japan: GADOUKEN GADOUKEN GADOUKEN! ORA ORA! Murican: Dead/KO. American/Japan: FRAWRESS VICTOLY! Result: World war 3 GET!

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Is Charlie Sheen bi-polar? Yes.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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