Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Rudolf the rednosed reindeer died today. He was reported flying over Madrid when he was hit by a jumbo jet and a flock of seagulls. People are now saying that the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What can fly? Lots of things

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why did the chicken cross the road because the farm is across the street from were it is now

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How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her a question.

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How many walls can you paint with a baby? Depends on how hard you throw it.

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What did the mute boy get for his birthday? i dont know he didnt tell me

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Why did Sally's Ice Cream melt? Sally was on Fire

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Moo! I'm a goat!

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what happend to Helen Keller when she fell in a hole She climed out of the hole

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Roses are orange Violets are grey I love penguins Damn Jews

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This is an anti joke with a difference. It's funny.

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why did josh pick up the quarter because he's a jew

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Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Our experimental treatment for Anterograde amnesia has failed. I will inform your family.

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why did the car drive off the cliff? The driver was a potato...

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A woman walks into a bar She is raped.

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What do Ethiopians do for dinner? Starve.

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Roses are red, Violets are unicorns, This s h i t doesn't make sense, Refrigerator.

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What did Britney Spears say to the Mexican? Hit me baby Juan more time.

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life is a barrel of tomatoes...unless you paint them blue.

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knock knock Who's there? Someone who wants to save you from the shitty dinner your lazy wife made.

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What did the mexican say to the black person? Hey there! How are you today?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops