Q. Where do you find Indonesia A. On a map

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What do Ethiopians do at night? Starve

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

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Dave: My wife just gave birth! The baby is doing good. John: You mean doing well?

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Did you hear about the 4'10" psychic that escaped from prison? It's on the news! "Small Medium At Large."

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had Gonorrhea.

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A jewish man runs into a wall with an erection. He broke his nose.

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Where was little Sara when the bomb went off? Everywhere. "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" Sara's hands

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Who is worse then Charlie Sheen? Hitler.

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I once saw a picture of a man who was bloodily murdered with his testicles replacing his eyes. then i had a nightmare, that was completely unrelated

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? words

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Guns dont kill people...whoever pulled the trigger kills people

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Why did the man cry when he went to the doctor? He has a terminal illness progressed to the point of cure and would die in 3 hours.

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What was Steve Jobs' favorite fruit? Grapes.

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If life throws you melons, either catch them or get out of he way to avoid injury.

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What's the difference between a Watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer, the other is a watermelon.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I am blind.

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What happens when you wake a sleepwalker? Waking sleepwalkers does not harm them. While it is true that a person may be confused or disoriented for a short time after awakening, this does not cause them further harm. In contrast, sleepwalkers may injure themselves if they trip over objects or lose their balance while sleepwalking. Such injuries are common among sleepwalkers.

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Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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What did the dog say to the cat? "Bark."

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What do you call a black guy riding a unicycle? A black guy riding a unicycle.

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It's the police sir. There's been an accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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