Knock knock Who's there? I Love You! -Harrison

3 bears walk into a market. A little girl sneaks into their house. Meanwhile, people are freaking out because there are THREE BEARS in the market.

why cant dinosaurs talk? because they're all dead

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, Show me your ti ts.

Question: How did the little girl die Answer: cancer and AIDS

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He orders a lemonade and leaves promptly

What's worse than a stain on your carpet? Two stains on your carpet

Why did the boy fail his midterm? he didnt study.

Why did the Korean shoot the dog? Unfortunately, the dog was suffering from a severe mental trauma it had sustained when it by got hit by a car. This caused the dog to be extremely aggressive and it ruthlessly attacked a 5-year old girl playing in the street. The Korean who was coming home from a day out hunting in the woods saw the girl and shot the dog from long range to save the girl's life. The man was later thanked by the girl's family.

A policeman walks into a bar. He goes inside to greet his friend who happens to be the bartender. Another man walks into the bar. This man is a regular customer and goes to the bar almost every other night. The policeman leaves and goes back on duty.

there's a blonde and a brunette jumping out of a plane, what one hits the ground first? they both hit at the same time because gravity pulls everything down towards the earth at the same pace

69

What's the difference between a Corvette and a sack of dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

why was the pen lonely? because it didn't have a pen pall

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? lts of stuff like murder, rape, slavery, poverty, mindcontrol, mass genocide, the holocaust, racism, plagarism, physichal assault, war, terrorism, massacres, onsloughts, necrophillia, the dead rising, zombies, jokes on antijokes.com, awkward situations, dieing, cancer, ADHD, other mental illnesses, paint, the grim reaper, shinigami, stereotyping foreigners, prejudicism, bullying, armed robbery, hacking, viruses, incest, feral animals, getting lost in the forest, arsonry, pyromania, passing out in a bar, meeting a serial killer, and finding 2 worms in your apple.

What can u see in the dark that u can't see in the light? Absolutely nothing

There was a man that invited his uncle, his uncle his uncle his uncle, his uncle and his uncle spidey to a party. He was really dissapointed when he realized that not only was his invitation full of typos, but that he invited Peter Parker twice and forgot to invite spiderman.

A psychotic man walks into a pharmacy He buys his weekly medication to control his condition.

What did the boy with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for his birthday? AIDS

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

Why was Sally lying on the ground? Cause she was dead

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He looks it up first to make sure he's got it right before dialing.

its all aodhan

Why did the chicken cross the road? 4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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