knock knock no ones home

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A blond walks into McDonalds. She orders and leaves.

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

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What did the dog say to the cat? I don't know actually

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What's the difference between and Jew and pizza?!?!?! Jews are people and pizza is a food product :D

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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A girl and her family were walking by a cliff. Suddenly - due to a a part of the cliff falling away - her family fell over the edge and died. The girl ran to the bottom of the cliff and saw her family's body's strewn across the rocks, blood everywhere. She didn't have a phone on her and so could not call the police. She called over a man she saw in the distance. He asked "What's happened?". Just managing to stammer the words through her tears she said "My entire family fell off a cliff and died". The man unzipped his trousers and said "This really isn't your day is it love?"

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leon harney ya pikey

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Q: What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? A: They both have handlebars except for the duck!

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Q. What's long and hard and full of seamen? A. A penis. Oops, I misspelled "semen". Sorry. Also, to clarify, this doesn't describe the normal state of the average penis. Usually they are flaccid, and they can only be said to be "full of semen" at the exact moment of ejaculation.

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Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved.

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Some black guy grabs a white guys wallet. the black guy says " hey I think you dropped this"

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Your Grandma and your mom drove off a cliff, who survived? Both of them, they didn't drive off a cliff.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stapled to a donkey

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Mullets

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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What does Spiderman do everyday? Aunt May

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Tough crowd tonight...

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What's worse than opening your pantry door and finding nothing desirable to eat? Repeated high voltage electrical shocks to the anus.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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What do you call a dinosaur eating a taco? Nothing, you are high.

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What did the boy dog say to the girl dog? Ruff

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A blonde, ginger, and brunette took the SAT. They all performed successfully and were admitted into their colleges of choice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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