- Anti Joke

Zombies eat brains! (You're safe)

Hey Eliz, just a final thought, if and when I die (hey I am your step dad after all, dont forget I am four years older than you now! So ill die first anyway, hopefully) Promise me that you will call me on the phone and either yell SNAKE ANSWER ME SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! Or BOSS ANSWER ME BOOOOOOOOOOSS! Never mind, I never liked videogames ironically, but hey, its funny, Suddenly this Boss guy shows up, and I feel like I have something in common with someone! A game character anyway, and its a fucking boring game too, just sneaking around, then you got to well pay people to build shit and I shut it off by then... ...Finally the nurses are here... Those guys again, hey guys, I cant speak nor remember what button to press to delete shit, but I heard bogosexuals with an h, dont get the message, you see the man with broken fingers there, go get me female nurses or... They sleeping? And not with me? Okay guys, get me out of here, I am humiliating myself in front of my uh... Frienddaughtersisterthing as for the rest of you fucks, has it ever seemed like I have ever cared about your inferior opinions above my superhuma... I am drun or something huh guys? 60 MG valium? You fucking murderers! Well will that other dru.. Fine then... Nero The End? Seriously flaggots! I cant stop typing, just get me out of this... Wheelchair? When did that happen? Well roll me out then! And please you know, fill that code thing and the terms and all that.

A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

What happens when a leprechaun refuses to give you his pot of gold? He doesn't give you his gold.

what did God say when He saw a black man? Oops I urnt one.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? I like Pie. I like Pie who? What do you mean who? Pie isn't a person, it's a thing.

A panda walks into a bar... Psht. Panda in a bar, that's impossible.

Why is the sky blue? Well it has something to do with The suns reflection off of all the waters on earth's surface.

I was playing Black Ops online, my wife turned it off in the middle of the game....I killed her

What do flowers and people have in common? They both die.

Q: How do you scream at a purple? A: Black people

what do you call a rat with wings? an evolutionary masterpiece

Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

Q: What's big, yellow and can't swim? A: A school bus full of children.

A cow walks into a bar and said, "Bartender give me a glass of milk!"

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A cripple.

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just two, but I'd like to know how they got in there.

Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

holly shit!!!! when did i get on the internet !?

A Mexican man, an American man, and an Italian man go to a bridge. The mexican said "we have too much of this in our country!" and throws pasta into the water. The Mexican man says "we have to much of this in out country!" and throws a taco into the water. The American throws in the Mexican man and says "we have to much of these in our country!"

Why did the fat man fall off the balcony? He didn't, I pushed him.

Q: What is a laptop that sings? A: A Dell

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was an object of great appeal to him on the other side.

what did the man say to his boss? Hello boss

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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