What's red and weighs a metric ton? An apple, my scale wasn't calibrated

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What did the lawyer say to the lawyer We are both lawyers

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Little Johnny asks his teacher "What's 23 times 3?" She yelled, "Be quiet, Johnny, and grow up!"

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Confucius say: Man who fart in church probably has a medical condition and should not be made fun of because that is cruel.

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Q. Why did the fat boy cross the road? A. To go on a diet

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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A man with two broken legs walks into a bar.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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Why did the blonde fall off the cliff? She was blind and deaf so she never knew where to go, and her parents kicked her out for her problems. It is a sad situation that noone wants to go through

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If Michael Jackson were alive today, what would he be doing? Scratching at the top of his coffin.

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I'd feel bad for some skinny guy who lived in a very obese family and only got hand me downs.

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So, how 'bout that airline food?

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What did the ocean say to the black guy? Nothing, it just shot him.

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A black and a white man enter the bar all the people jump on the black guy to beat him up when the white guy is geting free vodka

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q ggggggggggggggggg

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What's the difference between a dead dog lying in the middle of the street and a dead black man lying in the middle of the street? The physical differences you would commonly expect to be between a human being and a dog.

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A dyslexic blind man

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What do you call a black man about to jump off a cliff? Suicidal

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Why did the...uhh.... Lamp.

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what has wings, bald but doesn't fly? a bald eagle... i lied at the flying part because i'm a f*cking lier from hell watching porn all day with my brother...

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How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

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What's blue and can't sing? Blue.

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Q )Why did the black man shoot the white man? A )The black man had been walking home from his weekly gospel service at the local church when suddenly the criminal had stopped him in his tracks. In a desperate attempt to save himself he seized the gun from the white man and shot him in the leg in order to defend himself. He survived.

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Three black men were walking...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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