What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - Could you please take a look at my neck it has been hurting there for several weeks now.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what did the man say to his dog? sex. -teagan doherty

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What does a Chinese girl get for Christmas? New parents...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's big, white, and when it falls out of a tree, it can kill you? A refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I've got a joke for you. The people writing these jokes. Thats a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

- Knock knock. - Who's there? - I am. - I am who? - You are Steve. - Indeed.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the downtown New York worker never make it home? An airplane crashed into his office.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the boy get hit by the ice cream truck? The driver of the ice cream truck was drunk

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's black and white and read all over? A lot of things.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How did the girl get her Mardi Gras beads? She purchased them at a reasonable price from a party store.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock knock Who's there? Jesus Jesus who? Jesus Christ, your lord and savior.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

you wanna hear a funny joke? so do I

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the young man not want to go to school? Because he had a large tumor on the left side of his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One splatters and makes a big red mark on the ground when dropped from a building. The other is a fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

quik reply fuckker, im at the room on the left at the uh... forgot anywayss third floor, to the end of the hospital, btw, I told The Goat and Fingern to wait for you at the entrance, and I paid them to kick your ass... WHOS YOUR DADDY! Well soon ill be your dad and the father of your sisters first kid! Man, relax, I told them to just drag you outside and kick you in the nuts, then some atomixc elbows and make u bleed... Your suufering is none of use of me if your ded, plz reply abut your sufferage when they are done, u really think id fight your dirty shit yourself? I AM THE LEADer THE ONE WHO KNOcKS! I DONT LIKE THE FIGHT! PEOPLE FIGHT FOR ME! IN MY NamEN MY GLORY!! Amen, you will soon become an uncle... Nah, tell your sis its a joke, I already told her I insist bangign her look at the pone Goat has in his poket, her last responz is "now?" and two smileys with eyes poppingg XD Seriously, if they are not already kicking your ass... Well, they sent me a pic, I suppose you will end up at the hospital too, looks bad kid... But you know the goat, that kid wants to kill, and probably has... ill let theem know that if thhhhey kill youu, they hmmm... then I cantt beat you um mysepf, so no killins in my name, reelas ill call em, but you are just bruise now, I want moar blood. Nero Metal, the coldest leader, of the universe. (dat tok like 6 mins to tyype so wort it, if you diee, i dont responsible for the goat, but i think finger will stop him zoon.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two pretzels were walking down the street. One was assaulted. The other, witnessing what he'd seen, developed a harsh stereotype.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

That moment when you try and finger your girlfriend and there no hole......and you start questioning your sexuality

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q. why are black people so good at sports? A. Hardwork and dedication.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock knock. Who's there? Apple. Apple who? Apple juice.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Gotta go Fast Gotta go Faster Faster Fasterfasterfaster! Moving at the speed of sound I'm the quickest hedgehog around Got ourselves a situation Start getting a new location Without any explanation On top of relaxation! Go- Go- Go- Don't blink Don't think Just Go go go go G-g-g-g-go go! Sonic, he's on the run Sonic, he's number one Sonic, he's coming next so watch out for Sonic X! Gotta go fast, gotta go faster faster faster fasterfasterfaster Go go go go go go go go go! Sooooniiiiic X!!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did Billy cross the road? Because Billy wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A Mexican walked into a bar. He never came back out.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two elephants walk off of cliff.... BOOM BOOM!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops