The homeless man first experience warmth....in Hell

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's red and smells like a rose? Bumble-bees licking honey off of a stick.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, the highest he placed was 4th.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you get 100 people in one car. You can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A duck walks in wal-mart and buys stuff. The cashier ask how hes going to pay and the duck said just put it on my bill.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: why cant elvis draw a picture. A: cause hes dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How come anti jokes r funny

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the chicken say when it crossed the road? Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the man say to the jew? How are jew?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

whats worse than 911 nothing you cant beat 911that sucked

thumb_up thumb_down -7

child labor

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is green and is not grass A frogg

thumb_up thumb_down -7

You are being like super pervert now, I would never ever even try weed, cocaine is the real deal, you know I do not mean that. Anyway does it work on everyone?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what did the green grape say to the purple grape? i'm green.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

a cat and a duck walk into a pub. the cat enters first and says for the duck to put all of their drinks on his bill. the duck(being a duck)says nothing because ducks cannot speak. therefore the cat shouldnt have been speaking either.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Who are you texting? YOUR MOTHER.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the man called Big Larry? His name was Larry and he was morbidly obese.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I am iron man 24 flavors in my van i am the icecream man i have met jackie chan

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What has 9 arms and sucks? Def lepeord

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Know what would be awkward, if a GPS told a gay guy to get straight.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops