Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Why did you not just "put a spell" on her instead? And you are totally mean, ever actually killed someone?

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Why can't Brent speak at the moment? Because he is eating his ice-cream.

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XD, Okay, but you gotta marry me too XD Its working again I am skipping class tonight, how about you come by uh, the day after tomorrow? And bring condoms I don't have any.

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Lady wanna go out sometime? Im not lesbian girl! Im not a girl... OUCHIE!

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Q: Why is Abu Soooo Dank? A: Because he scores too many left-foot bangers

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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There once was a man who couldn't finish any sente

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 452

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A black man and a Mexican man are both in a car. Who's driving? The white man who is also in the car with them.

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what is worse than finding a worm in your apple being tricked by your best friend to mule drugs over the boarder and then imprisoned in a Vietnamese jail, where you will most likely will be traded for sex and other horrid act of sodomy, only to escape and work as a sex slave to earn your way home, because that is the life you know now there is no way out you will die here.

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Two Iranians walk into an airport They show their passports and proceed to fly to their home in Minnesota

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Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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Why did a mass amount of people move to Florida? They came to murder their children and get away with it.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half of a worm. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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A man walks into a bar. He walks out 10 minutes later because he was satisfied with the new hooker he killed and made out with in the bar's bathroom.

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How did the magician make his assistant disappear? He killed her and then cremated her body

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How did the man drown the fish? He ate it.

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Why did Tiger look in the toilet? It doesn't matter, he didn't find anything.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Anti-jokes

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose... But you cannot be a dinosaur!

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What did the blonde say when she was asked what color her hair was ? Blonde.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops