- Anti Joke

Why did the football coach go to the bank? To make a deposit.

Why did the burglar get arrested? For beating an egg

Whats worse than forgetting some thing at the supermarket? your nuts being nail gunned to the wall.

Q:What do you call a black man flying a plane? A: An over-used anti-joke

Why was the boy hit by a bus? Because the driver is a homicidal sociopath.

Why'd the man walk his dog His pen ran out of ink

A man looks both ways before crossing the street he gets hit by an airplane

Why did the black kid with one leg read the Iliad? Because it was part of his homework assignment?

Womans profesional lacrosse

What's worse than seeing Levi naked? Cancer.

I had a chocolate chip cookie today, thats it, just a chocolate chip cookie.

Why did the boy want to commit suicide? Because he didn't want to die.

Why did the penguin die? He was anti-social and would rather die than huddle. So he died. THE END

Cool Brian

How do you keep black people from hanging around in your front yard? Hang them in the back..

Fun Fact getting married to your first cousin is legal in CT... bet you thought there was joke coming right about now..........

A horse walks into a convenience store. He grabs a pack of gum, pays the man at the counter, and walks out.

why am i a dick head. because my gcse's spelt fudge and i dont like fudge so i project my anger into boss things

A very rich man had a son. He was very proud of his son. The son was smart and diligent and did well in school. On the son's 16th birthday, the father went to his son and said "son, you are the apple of my eye and I'm very proud of you. I am a very rich man and since you have made me so proud I will buy you ANYTHING you ask me to buy you for your 16th birthday." The son, without hesitation, asked his father for 1,000 green golf balls. The father was taken aback. "But son, that's such a strange request! Might I remind you that I'm VERY rich, and I could buy you ANYTHING your heart desires?!" But the son was adamant, and his father, though confused, honored his son's request. Some years later the son graduated from college at the top of his class. His father, once again beaming with pride, came to his son. "Son, you are the apple of my eye and I'm very proud of you. I am a very rich man and since you have made me so proud I will buy you ANYTHING you ask me to buy you for your college graduation." The son, without hesitation, asked his father for 2,000 green golf balls. The father once again was confused, and a bit angry. "Son, that's a ridiculous request! I'm offering to buy you ANYTHING you want! I'm a very rich man, and almost NOTHING is beyond my requisition! So please, reconsider, and tell me what you REALLY want!" But the son was adamant, and his father, though bewildered and frustrated, honored his son's request. Years later, the son, following in his father's footsteps, was a very successful businessman. He'd married a beautiful wife and borne his father many wonderful grandchildren. One night as they ate dinner in an expensive restaurant, his father said to his son, "son, you are the apple of my eye and I'm very proud of you. I am a very rich man and since you have made me so proud I will buy you ANYTHING you ask me to buy you in honor of your fantastic success and wonderful family." Once again without blinking his son asked for 3,000 green golf balls. Enraged, his father slammed his hands on the table and yelled, "WHY MUST YOU MOCK MY GENEROSITY SO?! FINE; YOU'LL HAVE YOUR STUPID GOLF BALLS, BUT YOU HAVE LOST YOURSELF A FATHER!" And so the trade was made; the son's strange request for the animosity of his once-doting father. Several years later, the father and the son not having spoken once since, the father got a call from a hospital informing him that his son had gotten into a terrible car accident and was dying. Forgetting all about his grudge against his son, the father flew down to his son's side in a flash. His son was conscious for the first time in days as his father arrived. "Son, you are the apple of my eye and I'm very proud of you. I'm so sorry for disowning you! I know I never should have! I'm so sorry for the years we've lost! But I must know, son, why did you want all those green golfballs; those wretched orbs that drove us apart?! Surely you had a grand design for them; you're the perfect son and I could not have asked for anything more in the world than you!" His son, on death's door, looked into his father's eyes and said weakly, "well, father, I-" And then he died.

What's black,white, and red all over? Nothing, because if it is completely covered in red then it can only be red.

DESERT

A guy walks into a bar, A metal one, OUCH!

When life gives you lemons....you probably just FOUND lemons...

What did the compliemantry peanuts say to the man? "Nice tie."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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