A drunk guy walks into a bar. A blind man walks into the same bar.

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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A man goes and buys a head of cabbage. The cabbage had a worm in it. When the man saw the worm, he threw out the cabbage and bought a new one the next time he went to the grocery store.

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brainfart

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't.

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What would the world be like without 1 direction it would still be the world but just without 1 direction

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? -getting raped by 10 very hung men who go balls deep

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What did the zebra say to the giraffe? Nothing, they can't talk dipshit.

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Why didn't the woman make sandwiches? She was making baguettes.

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Roses are red Here is something new Violets are violet NOT FUCKING BLUE

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tomorrows international kill and orphan day, how meany of the sad bastard's you plan on baking into dough?

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? hello is anybody there? hello?....... .....the number your trying to reach has been removed please hang up the door knob and put the squirrel back in the lawnmower were belongs

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Knock knock! Who's there? Boo! Boo who? Aww, don't cry!

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why did katy fall off her bike?

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had previously driven over innocent civilians who were all constipated and had now caused a mild to extremely large shitstorm.

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A man walked into a pole barn oh wait I meant a pole bar so it actually hurt.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A bleeding zebra.

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what did the church group do at their picnic? drink the kool aid

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming? Here come the elephants.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

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getting a call from the hospital saying that your whole entire family was all killed in an explosion and they were killed from your best friend.

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Why did Tiger look in the toilet? It doesn't matter, he didn't find anything.

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24

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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