Q. what did the kid say to his foreign language teacher about the test? A: i dont understand this test, its like in a complete different language

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What would Jesus do? Something worthy of having him nailed to a cross.

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Q. what do you call a black guy? A. N IGGER

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why was the guy stranded on an island? because his boat crashed.

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Yo mom is so fat and stupid that she used butter to get through the doorway, but she ate it

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MAGHBERRY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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This is a joke. Laugh!

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Q: What was Steve Jobs' last words before he died? A: I Think i might die.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody cause your a loser.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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A mouse sniffed a peice of cheese. It was on a mouse trap and then it died in the trap.

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Me: You want pie? You: Yeah what flavour? Me: Pie flavour.

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what did the jew say when the arab threw rocks at him? He didnt, the israeli air force proceeded to fire white phosphorous missiles and annihalated many small children and babies in the process, the aftermath is still around today.

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What do you call a man who has a camera? a cameraman

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Whats the difference between Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber? Lady Gaga has a penis.

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What does two plus two equal? 4

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did you hear the one about the elephant with a screwdriver? me neither...

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A priest, a rabbi and a proctologist walk into a bar. Why is there a bar lying in the middle of the sidewalk?

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What do you call a blonde with big breasts? A woman. Some call her "mom".

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how do you know Newcastle are losing? its 5 past 3

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If you can't read this, you should think about optical enhancement surgery. If you can, however, you just wasted 5 seconds of your life doing so.

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Is the capitol of Michigan pronounced DEE-troit or de-TROIT? It's pronounced Lansing.

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Blarg, with ritalin everything tastes like cardboard, but on the bright side I can taste, lucky me I am so handsome the ones that attacked us did not want to ruin "my pretty face", so I just got a few cuts before I broke his, they never see a steel fist arriving you know... Listen, you are wrong, you gotta think less about me, and much more about yourself, you feel like you should worry more about me emotionally, but worry about your feelings more despite that because I can more or less hear your body saying "please take care of me", I mean I can more or less hear the urges and needs of women, thats why I am so good around them, I dont put them in a trance "vampire style" i just make them feel safe around me because it is safe around me, I am safe at all times because I am who I am. Listen, worry about your needs, turn of all mental alarms, I can sense (I dont know how, Richard Bandler put that into me) that you are in lack of sleep, food and sleep (I can sense it now, you havent slept well since you thought I was dead, it makes logical sense, it always does, its not magic, its the human potential unleashed) So take care of yourself, turn of your body`s needs one by one, shower, eat, drink (eat something good), and if you are at the couch, go get a pillow and lie down, this is about you, because I cant feel well if those I love and care about dont feel well okay? Please allow me to sleep easily and try getting some sleep yourself even if my guys are 15 minutes away. Let me know that you feel better.

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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