-What's funnier than a dog with no legs? -The movie Dumb and Dumber, in my opinion.

A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

why did Samantha fall off the building? She was hit by a flying fridge dropped by a traffic helicopter.

How many women does it take to arrange my new Ethan Allen furniture? Just one, I was told it was divorce present. She took it with her.

i love weed i fuc king really do i fuc king love smoking weed with you.And i love a fat spliff and i love a fat bong why cant we all just sing along!!!

A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

If the covalent bonds of two Hydrogen atoms and one Oxygen atom creates water, which subs are currently on the 5-dollar-foot-long menu at Subway?

Why is the little boy so smart? He tries in school and hes asian

Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? You did?! Oh . . .

Why did the chicken cross the road? His sons funeral was on the other side.

Knock Knock Who's There AT&T Guy Mom it's for you

What do you call a muslim on an airplane? A airline passenger.

What did the tree say to himself? Gee-oma-tree( get it geometry say it outloud)

Q: What's worse than the holocaust? A: 2 Holocausts

why did Kelsey fall off the swing? because she has no arms Knock Knock who's there? not Kelsey

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken just lost his job and has entered into a deep depression. He was going to commit suicide at the local KFC, but as he walked into the KFC, he saw a beautiful woman. They lived a full and happy life together until the chicken died of old age. Turns out the woman was blind, and partially deaf.

What do you say to man with no hands. How do you feel.

A horse walks into a bar. Bartender: why the long face Horse: I'm dying of an incurable cancer...

What's worse than hell? I would say the Holocaust, but they're both the same for the Jews.

What is the difference between ashes and a jew? A lot

Why did Hitler commit suicide? ... ... He committed suicide for the simple reason that the soviet and allied forces were closing in on him and he knew that he did not stand a chance of winning the war.

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and suffered from a self-inflicted gunshot wound in his head, he is being treated by medical professionals

Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. Are you a grapefruit? No.

How do you stop a rhino from charging? Kill it

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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