How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get in the car.

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What did the murderer get for Christmas? Executed.

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i don't get it...none of these are funny.

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What was the last thing the clown said to his wife before she died? Rebecca, just stay with me, the ambulance is almost here.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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why wouldnt sally stop spinning? she was trapped in a washing machine

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free shit is cool

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Whats big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater.

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Why was the little boy upset? He was on fire.

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On a scale of 1 to drunk how ten are you?

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Why did Alex die? He choked on a semi truck

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Why are there so many black basketball players? Because they aren't green.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

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A funny joke: Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick!

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A hat fell into the Indian Ocean. What happened to the hat? It got wet

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Knock Knock… Who is there? Orange. Orange Who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana? Actually I really wish you did, because I am Hypokalemic and am about to die you asshole.

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Why was the boy not feeling well? He swallowed a piano.

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What do you do if your computer breaks: Go on your phone. What do you do if your phone breaks: Go on you iPod What do you do if your iPod breaks: Then your screwed and you should get a Job and learn not to break things.

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Whats an Anti-Joke? Funny

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Why did Steve refuse to have sex with a black guy? Because Steve is heterosexual.

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Do you want to hear a funny joke? Me too.

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where are the maternaty clothing in walmart???? The C section

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Why did the man not want to be a tree? Because he didn't want to.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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