What did cancer get for Christmas? Another 6 year old boy

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When did Osama Bin Laden die? Nobody gives a @!?$

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If the opposite of Pro is Con, whats the opposite of progress?

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What's the difference between a duck? Nothing, they're both the same.

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Why did the four friends drive past the bar? To see if it was too crowded to go into or not.

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Paddy and mick were walking down the street when they saw some traffic lights. They proceeded to cross the road and continue on their journey.

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I STUCK MY TESTICLE IN A BLENDER!!!

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What state is round on both ends and high in the middle? Ocoloradoo.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Did you know that I can't talk any louder than this... Exept when I can

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Why was the boy not feeling well? He swallowed a piano.

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Q:Whats worse than you touching yourself at night A: The holocaust

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The banana, the raspberry and the pear arrived to the party, then the carrot and the tomato arrived as well, but when the apple and the orange arrived the banana left... ...This where just getting to fruity...

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse, incapable of understanding the human language promptly shits on the floor then leaves.

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A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

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Your mother is so fat she has made a concerted effort to loose weight and lead a healthier lifestyle

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how do you know Newcastle are losing? its 5 past 3

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How do you get a blond to fall over? Shoot her with a shotgun.

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Roses are red, Violets aren't blue, They're fucking violet, And I hate you.

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jimmy carr walks into a tax office.

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If Chuck Norris had five dollars and YOU had five dollars, he could still punch you in the face for free and get ten dollars out of it.

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What is it called when you kill a gay man? Homocide

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69

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bish bash bosh giz a nosh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops