How do you wake up lady gaga? Shoot her in the head repeatedly

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What did the bat say to the human? Nothing because bats make too high of frequency noises for humans to understand

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My friend died by getting shot in the head. But he respawned back at his checkpoint.

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All this fuss about drink driving is a load of crap! I frequently drink and drive, and I've never had an accident, apart from one small collision in which my wife was paralysed from the neck down.

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If three men were rowing a rowboat backwards across your front lawn, and six of the four back wheels fell off, how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? 17 because footballs don't have feathers.

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What has wings and windows? A bluebird, I was nodding about the windows!

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What is worse than 10 dead babies in a tree? 1 dead babies in 10 trees.

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Whats sad about a city bus full of black people exploding. NOTHING

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He looked both ways and saw there was no traffic.

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Ask me if i'm a fish. Are you a fish? Do I look like a fish?

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What's white and bobs up and down in a babies crib? A pedophiles ass.

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What did the rapist say before the little girl got in the van? Get in the van

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Why cant steve get a job? Because Steve Jobs is DEAD! Moral: And people are all like "you gotta respect the dead", uh... Why not respect people while they are alive? Humanity is so fucking "smart" sometimes ya? Not that your answer matters...

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What's purple and gross? Purple gross stuff

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What happened when 7 8 9? Six was afraid! HAHAHaha....ha.... wait, no. I told that wrong....

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Gay Rights

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Fun fact: If you took the skin of an average person and laid it flat you would have enough to get a pretty serious criminal conviction, amirite?

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Why are bowling balls racist? They are not because bowling balls are incapable of having feeling therfore they cannot have racial thoughts or actions.

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what's the difference between a male and female skeleton? The jaw bone structure

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How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her.

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What happens when you cross a vampire and a werewolf? A cross between a vampire and a werewolf.

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So, there's a lion loose in Colchester. Should've gone to Specsavers... [L]

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Think of a number between 2 and 10? 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286 208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481 11745028410270193852110555964462294895493038

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Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? All the inventory was destroyed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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