What's red and smells like blood? Blood.

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Dad: sussy, do you know how you were made? Sussy: No, how? Dad: With this DICK!!

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What do you call a blonde who tries to swim on land? - Stupid.

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what did binladin say when he got to hell? oh no. im in hell

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What do you call a dog eating a dead dog? A hungry dog

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Q: Whats black and hangs from a tree???? A: A tire!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The parking lot was across the street from KFC.

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What did Mr. Pazdzioch and Mr. Hahn and Mr. Fishers big ass do for fun? Ate Mr. Kilgores shit at shin-go-beek jamboree.

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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Why was the asian boy made fun of in the locker room? Because of the nipple piercing he had.

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why did mary fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms. Why didnt she get back up? Cause she had no friends. Knock knock whos there Definately not mary !

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slaughter the mussies #EDL

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What's green and has wheels? a green car.

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What's the difference between a nickel and a dime? Five cents.

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Whats Something everyone has except david? Money.

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If a girl sleeps with 20 guys, she's a slut. If a guy does the same... He's Gay.

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Why did the crack head cross the road? To get crack.

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why did the pirate have a patch? to crack the software he had downloaded

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Q: whats pink and fluffy? A: Pink fluff.

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how do you stop a bus? shout FOR ALLAH!

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Carol never wore her safety goggles. Neither did Hellen Keller.

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Why doesn't Rosa Parks eat bacon? Because she's dead.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. This is a poem about flowers.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it doesn't matter because he got hit by a bus before he could even make it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops