Why cant a black man and a white man cant be friends? Because bont mens are racist

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What do you call a hairless penis, whatever gay name you decided to nickname it

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What do you do with a pickle jar full of semen? Use it for gel, because it took so long to collect it all, and you're frugal person who believes in recycling.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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Why does Santa wear sleigh bells? Because he's got leprosy.

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mom.what is red and green? dad. what? mom. your mama dad. you Mack me cry mom gooooooooooooooooood girl. mom have you seen gmom mom.no dad. your mom killed her girl. rely mom. yes girl.thanks she suck dick for money and now i have to get a new bed so thanks mom.ya dad. so you want to be dead mom and girl. or u want to be dead dad. help me plz nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo mom.yes girl yes

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PLEASE DONT READ THIS OR YOU'LL BE DIED IF YOU DONT THUMBS UP THIS LIKE POST THIS ON 20 MESSAGES OR YOU'RE BEST MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR LIFE WITHIN THE NEXT 7 DAYS

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was ran over before it made it to the other side.

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Yo momma's so fat she got her own zip code! except she doesn't because zip codes are reserved for much larger areas than that of your mother.

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How do you get a boy out of bed, you cut off his fingers.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Shoot her in the head repeatedly

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My friend died by getting shot in the head. But he respawned back at his checkpoint.

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What did the bat say to the human? Nothing because bats make too high of frequency noises for humans to understand

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All this fuss about drink driving is a load of crap! I frequently drink and drive, and I've never had an accident, apart from one small collision in which my wife was paralysed from the neck down.

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If three men were rowing a rowboat backwards across your front lawn, and six of the four back wheels fell off, how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? 17 because footballs don't have feathers.

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What has wings and windows? A bluebird, I was nodding about the windows!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He looked both ways and saw there was no traffic.

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What did the rapist say before the little girl got in the van? Get in the van

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what's the difference between a male and female skeleton? The jaw bone structure

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Fun fact: If you took the skin of an average person and laid it flat you would have enough to get a pretty serious criminal conviction, amirite?

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How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her.

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Why did Susy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susy.

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What's the best way to look 10 pounds thinner? Lose 10 pounds

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So, there's a lion loose in Colchester. Should've gone to Specsavers... [L]

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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