(read this aloud): A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. Him and the giraffe order multiple shots and get hammered. The giraffe on the other hand can't hold his liquor so well, and ends up passing out on the floor of the bar. The man decides to leave him there and take off. On his way out, the bartender yells, "Hey, you can't just leave that lyin' there!" and the man says, "It's not a lion, it's a giraffe!"

What is the difference between a motorcycle and a football? 42, because ice cream has no bones.

A man's car broke down on a lonely country road in the middle of a stormy night. Spotting a light in a farmhouse nearby, he made his way there through the mud and driving rain, and knocked on the door. The farmer who lived there answered, and said what while he didn't have any room in the house, the barn would provide shelter and warmth until morning. Thankful for the hospitality, the stranded man made his way to the barn and made a place to sleep in the hay. As the lightning flickered outside, briefly illuminating the barn's interior, he noticed knot-holes in the wood of the stall walls, and the hoses of a milking machine laying nearby. He then fell fast asleep. The farmer woke him up in the morning, and together they rode on a tractor to the road to make the necessary repairs to the man's automobile, but only after enjoying a country breakfast prepared by the farmer's wife and lovely eighteen year old daughter.

You wanna hear something dirty? A pile of garbage. That's dirty.

You are walking down the street, and a man keeps on getting in your way. You want to politely... Screw it already and stab him in the back

Q: knock knock who is there A;dunno go check

Why can't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? Because it takes years of hard training to accomplish such a remarkable feat.

What's the difference between a plum and bunny? They're both purple, except the bunny.

Paper shield.

What do you call a Muslim pilot? An accident waiting to happen

A dog just died in my neighborhood last week. It made me sad so I vandelized a church and got put into jail. That made me even MORE sad so I vandelized the jail. Morel of the story: This wasn't grammaticly a story. A story is not 3 sentences. --

Welcome to make your own anti joke! Please use tkeyboard usually available somewhere below this screen.

What's the difference between Jordan and Time? Time passes!!

What is 2 + 2? 3 LOL

You know you're a redneck when you come from a rural area and behave as such.

Why can't you tell jokes in Base 8? Because 7, 10, 11

What do a turtle and a tree have in common? They both can fly except for the turtle............and the tree

How do you get a black man to run? Ask him how his day has been, catch up on some memories of your time at school together, then challenge him to a foot race.

Whats worse then this joke? Its punchline.

What's big and white?

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

What did Frodo do when he realized that he needed to destroy the ring? He simply walked into Mordor

If Jewish men light a menorah during Hanukkah, what do Jewish women light? Jewish women light a menorah as well; Judaism is a relatively fair religion to both sexes.

Chuck Norris.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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