Roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme but this one doesn't

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What kind of a prediction is THAT?

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? 9/11

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whats black and white and red all over????? a zebra who got shot

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Why did the beachball get sad after it was deflated? Beachballs don't have emotions.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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What's more addicting than a good book? Meth

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What did the Egyptian helicopter do when it went into the pyramid? Exploded.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returned and said, "My friend does not have a pulse and he is not breathing, so I stand by my prior assumption."

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Q:Why did the man throw his clock out the window A:Because he didn't like his clock

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theres a giant burning orb in the sky and it can burn your flesh, it can give you diseases, it can kill you, looking directly at it causes physical pain, and we all think this is okay. we like this orb. we like to go outside and lie around on our backs when this orb is in the sky. children draw cute pictures of this levitating death orb with a smiley face on it. what is wrong with us

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When life gives you lemons, you are most likely in the fruit section of the grocery store.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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whats the difference between a black guy and and an asian person... who cares kill them both

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A flea walks into a bar. Nobody notices because it is a very small insect

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What happened to your face? I walked into a tree

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What is the mexican dream? To jump the border

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Why is Obama the Antichrist? Salad.

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what do abortion and a coat hanger have in common? they both contain 4 vowels

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there was a blind kid and a man wearing a WWJD & Livstrong bracelet touched his eyes and he could see. He wasn't used to the light and walked into traffic and died instantly.

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Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? Because she was a mother catering her child's sporting event.

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Knock knock. Death.

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What did Santa say to the prostitute? "Merry Christmas!"

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What did the banker say to the other banker? We're both bankers!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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