How old is your mom? Old.

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Do you like your life? No. OK.

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What did the general say before the soldiers got in the tank? Get in the tank

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Yo momma so ugly she looks like a penis

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A snail walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "hey we don't serve snails here," and flicks him across the street. 3 years later the snails walks back into the bar and said, "why'd ya do that for??"

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Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? One has a complex circulatory system the other is a pizza.

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Why did the wee boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a truck.

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Tell me you're a rapist. You're a rapist. This joke makes no sense. Mashed potatoes.

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Gay's

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whats the difference between a bird and a turtle? they can both fly but the turtle cant

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights

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Two muffins are in an oven. The oven is set to 425 degrees farenheit. The two muffins are taken out of the oven once cooked, and enjoyed by the couple who cooked them.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What do you call it when the sh*t hits the fan? The sh*t hits the fan.

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what do you do to get a guy to vomit?? kick him in the balls!

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

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What do you call a man with no arms? A cripple.

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Why do Jewish people have such big noses? The nucleotides in their DNA are strung together in a certain sequence that makes them have large noses.

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Why did the white guy sit on the bench while the black guys were playing basketball? His mother was calling, and his AP scores were coming in that day. Those scores were important to him.

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What happened when Mary threw a kettle at Daniel? Daniel was scalded in the facial area and was blinded forever.

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Q: What do you call Justin Bieber with a penis? A: Darn good plastic surgery.

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whats black and white? a zebra

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Whats worse than runing over a box of kittens? Runing over two boxes of kittens.

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What's blue and orange at the bottom of a swimming pool? A dead baby, why's it there? I popped the arm bands.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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