Why wasn't the man hungry? Because he just ate a thousand almonds.

Whats worse then getting stabbed in the trachea by a aids infected knife? getting pounded anally by satan

How much does a polar bear weigh? Less than you cuz your fat.

What happens when you cross an Asian with a bass guitar? An Asian man lies down diagonally across a bass guitar.

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Chuck Noris

knock knock who's there doctor doctor who No

Why can't a black guy be the King of England? He's not in line for it.

If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Regression.

What happens when you cross a dog and a cat? Something.

"I think your a hoe" "Don't worry, I know I am!" "You wanna F*** me?" "Hell Ya!"

your dads so fat, he makes your mom look skinny.

What can fly for only a short period? A jumper.

Why did Justin Beiber fall out of a plane? Because i pushed him off

whats chinese noodles

How many Aumish farmhands does it take to operate a state of the art commercial laser-cutter? One,provided he has the relevant training and experience.

Who's black, white and Asian at the same time? A panda.

Man #1: What was the hardest part about watching that kid get hit by that bus? Man #2: My dick...

whats the difference between a dog and a cat? ones a dog.

P.E.N.I.S P-enis E-nis N-is I-s S

Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? One is a tasty Italian food the other is a respected member of society

holy F**k someone call an ambulance!

My friend harris is fat.

There is more than one way to skin a cat. I used a potato skin peeler.

Q. What do you tell a women with two black eyes? A. Stop pissing him off!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...