Best joke: Okay so I got a joke for ya but it is pretty long so bare with me please. First off, you must have heard a knock knock joke before and you must have a huge sense of humor. So this guy walks into a bar and orders fried chicken wings with hot fudge and vinilla drizzled all over it with a cherry topping. The bartender says, "We don't have that." The guy thinks of anything else he'd like and says, "How about a bucket of turkey and jalapeños?" The bartender looks puzzled and once again says, "This is a bar..." The guy is now paranoid and says, "Fine, I'll just have a thick, juicy, chicken thigh but please remove any excess skin on it, it's unhealthy and I'm on a diet." The bartender slowly removes his apron and walks out of the bar shouting, "I QUIT!" The guy sits there on the barstool laughing as a lady bartender comes to him. "So sorry sir, what would you like? From our bar that we have available?" The guy stares at her, squinting. "By any chance do you know if you have the punch line to this 'joke' because I sure dont." Slowly the woman removes her apron and walks out of the bar. The guy grins, walks out, and says, "job well done today. Where to tomorrow?"

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she got shot in the heart with a bolt action sniper rifle and died.

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Knock knock. Whose there? Jehovahs witnesses.

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Why did the monkey die? he was stapled to a grenade

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please dis this joke, I want to get to the bottom of the leaderboard!

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Nyan cat had pancakes for breakfast.

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knock, knock! No answer, they probably can't hear you, use the doorbell.

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What did God say when he mad another black guy? Danmit i burnt one again.

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Walruses are basically saber-toothed seals. That does not affect the fact that they are awesome.

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Q: Why do so many people write "So a man walked into a bar" A: Because they lack the intellect to think of something creative, and still other peoples material.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? It's illegal to eat the Jew.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Politely ask him to come down

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Why did the Asian eat rice? Because its food

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How do you fit 3 squirtles two bulbasors and a charmander in a smart car You poke em on

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Your momma's so obnoxious, your dad left.

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What did the rapper Proof say when he got in a fight? Nothing, Proof is dead.

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why did chuck norris walk on water? because he's chuck norris

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

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Where did Susie go after the bombing? Everywhere

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Did you hear about the deaf kid? He didn't.

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Your mom.

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Do you think the death man heard the one about, oh wait I bet he didn't

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Hey, I'm Schrödinger, and this is crazy! But here's a sealed box... the cat lives, maybe...

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Knock knock Who's there? Doorbell repairman

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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