What did batman do before getting into his batmobile? - Look for the keys.

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Your mother is SO wealthy, that she should help stop the poor children in Africa from starving by donating some spare change to the Let's-Help-Stop-The-Poor-Little-African-Children-From-Starving donation center. -not a real place!!!!!

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What do yo get when you cross an insomniac,an agnostic, and a dyslexic. A very troubled man.

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What is the last digit of Pi? Pi is an infinite decimal sequence, and therefore has no last number, but if it did, it would presumably be somewhere from 0-9.

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A baby seal walks into a club. It was a tragedy.

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Hey I just met you, and this seems crazy. I have Alzheimers... Hey i just met you.

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Sometimes when you drink sperm you choke

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why did the little boy drop his icecream? he was hit by a train

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What name does Steve Bartman go by Now? Steve Bartman, but he just hides all day trying not to be killed.

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SCENES WHEN TOM O'SHEA GETS STABBED IN PRISON AFTER STEALING THE WHEELS OFF AN AMBULANCE

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When I walk in the rain, I get wet

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why did the man jump off the building? to commit suicide.

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what did the american say to the other american? get out of the way i gotta go to mcdonalds!

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-Knock Knock -Come in!

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Rachel not blowing Robert.

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1: Ask if I'm a truck. 2: Uh... Are you a truck. 1: No.

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Why does the man with no legs call for help? because he woke up to find that he had no legs.

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O'Malley, an Irishman; Adam, a Jew; and Patrick, a gay man, walk into a bar. Oh crap. I just outed Patrick.

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What do you call a man who eats a swordfish at 11 o'clock? Dead by midnight.

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Q:What happened when the black guy walked into the bar? A:He bought a drink and quietly drank it until he was finished.

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A farmer had a horse that he rode frequently. He would talk to the horse and tell it it was his closest companion. One day the farmer noticed that the horse was walking funny. So he shot it.

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Why do black guys have white palms? Because that area of the human hand contains no melanocytes, the cells that allow pigment to form.

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there was a guy who wanted to be bad and have bitches but he died from all the smoking and drinking and went to hell for eternal damnation

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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